27-Apr-2005

I got this email today, and had to share it. The last line is what kills me.

One ;evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”
I said “WHAT????!!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear…”You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’ll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said let’s get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she ;finally said, “I think this is all dear, Let’s go to the cashier”.
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t
feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!”
I then said, “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
awhile.. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
“Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either .

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