11-Aug-2004

I’m at work, so I can’t make this a long post. I was just looking at some photos that I found online and… God, it would be so easy to just let myself go. Just throw caution to the wind and go all out. It would be like the Chirag of old came out of mothballs. Unfortunately, if I do that, I will most definitely lose any chance I might have. Doesn’t mean I’ll actually get anywhere anyway. But it’s still a risk I don’t know if I want to take. But God, it’s so hard. Especially now… And yet, all I can do is wait. The most annoying part is that this is all self-inflicted, so I can’t even complain to anyone without them justifiably telling me to stop whining.

And yes, I know I’m being cryptic. Sorry, but them’s the breaks.

*UPDATE* Well, now that I’ve decided on a course of action for the next week, I feel a little more relaxed. And of course, after a week there will be a catalyst to kinda move things along in one direction or another. Knowing my luck, though, I’ll probably get some sort of acknowledgement, then back to the status quo. * sighs*

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